25 weeks preggo.

Driving home from the grocery store tonight I thought back to living at our old house blogging on the back patio about this pregnancy. I remember thinking I was so far into the pregnancy, but couldn't have been more than 13 or 14 weeks preggo at the time. It's funny how our perspective on the progress of pregnancy changes. I am sure at 38 weeks I will look back to now and laugh at how big I thought I was getting and how much progress I was making.

So, I've been considering changing hospitals lately and am still unsure on what to do. When I started going to my midwifery clinic, I really liked all of the midwives I was meeting with. The clinic has a total of 12 midwives and you rotate meeting them so you've met them all by the end of your pregnancy. Initially, I thought this was a great thing. However, throughout time, the meeting midwife after midwife and liking them less and less each time, I began to question if this is the situation I really want. As well, when I go, I never feel as though they really care to know me. I guess I dont know what I really expect; I just thought appointments would be more thorough and want to get to know me better rather than just be a patient, or a number. Then, we did our hospital tour this last week and I was less than impressed. The labor and delivery floor is under construction so it seems a little hectic and fell short of feeling warm and welcoming for me. Im not really sure what I am expecting, maybe 4-star hotel-ish? In addition to both of those factors, I've read some less than positive reviews of the midwifery clinic and their competency.

I've considered some other options, one being a birthing center. While I wish I was ready for that, I'm just not. I feel like maybe after the birthing classes I will be comfortable with that idea, right now I am not, and cannot take the risk of choosing another place and then ultimately feeling uncomfortable in the end. I am scheduled to meet with a midwife from another midwifery clinic, they only have 4 midwives and they also have birthing tubs so if all went well, I could have a water birth. It makes me a little nervous switching but there's a part of me saying that I need to switch, while the other part of me says to stay where I am. I'm still pretty confused. :(

I had an appointment on Friday with one of the midwives. I liked her but she seemed a little less than supportive of a natural birth. While she said it was great that we are preparing through classes, she said not to set myself up for failure. It almost seemed as though she was like, while it is great you want one, dont get your hopes up. Otherwise, things were good at the appointment. I measured at 24cm, so just a little under where I should be, my blood pressure was good, and I gained a decent amount of weight. They scheduled my 28 week growth check ultrasound for November 5... which is also the date of my appointment with the new clinic.. I need to figure things out. When she went to listen for the heartbeat on the doppler, she stated that she thinks he is way far back near my back with his knees and feet out front.. may explain both the low kicks and the back pain I have been having!

We start our Bradley method classes tomorrow. For some reason, I am nervous for them. Hopefully we benefit from them. I really don't know what to expect. I think it is the unknown that makes me uneasy.

Other than that, not much else to update. I have been feeling pretty good other than the typical back and hip pain that I've been experiencing from the very start. I feel like the further along I get, the more emotional and needy I become.. but I think that is to be expected :)

See you next week.

xo, mommy to be.